- Never cancel plans because you “might” have the baby, it only adds to the disappointment of being late. Instead, schedule one thing to look forward to everyday that’s easy to do or not to do (watch a favorite movie, go out to lunch with a friend, go walking with your husband, get a pedicure, favorite dessert, etc.).
- Keep your friends and family posted daily. This helps avoid the constant, “Have you had the baby yet?” texts, emails and phone calls that happen otherwise. I have found that posting to Facebook is perfect for this. I don’t have to send a gazillion messages to get the word out. This also gives them a place to give you encouragement and support.
- Consider changing your voicemail message to, “I’m not having the baby, I just couldn’t get to the phone in time.” This avoids receiving frustrating messages left by well-meaning friends that begin something like, “I was just calling to see how you’re doing, but maybe you’re having the baby right now!”
- A friend of mine invented a game for mothers who go past their due dates. It works like this: the first day you are late, you get to spend $1 on yourself, then everyday the amount doubles (2-$2; 3-$4; 4-$8; 5-$16; 6-$32; 7-$64, etc.) You could start the beginning amount higher, but be warned - if you go very late, it could get quite pricey! I have never actually played this game, despite having all but my first baby go anywhere from 3-9 days past my due date. However, this time around I decided to try it and it has been fun. I would still rather have my baby, but the incentive of getting to spend money on myself guilt-free, and the encouragement from family and friends to do so has been very fun. It has also ensured that for at least a little while that day, I get to go somewhere by myself.
- Most mornings this past week, I have woken up disappointed that I didn’t go into labor and daunted at the idea of facing another day of being pregnant and taking care of my six children (especially since this week was spring break!). I take my time getting out of bed. I shed a few tears. I pray for strength and endurance. I update my Facebook post, and I think of something fun to look forward to that day. Although I’ll be the first to say that having a newborn is tons better than being 9 ½ months pregnant, there are some advantages to being pregnant. You have a ready excuse to cry for absolutely no reason whatsoever. You can take naps and not have to worry about waking up to feed your baby. You can work on projects that will be more difficult to finish after baby comes. It’s not a perfect solution, but it helps.
- Enjoy the look of shock and almost panic that instantly appears on people’s faces when they find out how far past your due date you are! It really is funny. They look at you like your a time bomb about to explode. I’m almost tempted to fake some contractions or something just to see what they would do. I think most people connect “late” with fast delivery for some reason, which has most unfortunately not been my experience. But it is very entertaining to watch for their reaction.
- Finally, the thing I’ve learned that is probably the most important of all is that I will not be pregnant forever. This seems like an obvious statement, but believe me - when you’re a week overdue, logic is not your strong point and everyday you wake up pregnant feels like eternity. You start to believe you will never have the baby and you will always feel like a beached whale.
Many people ask me why I don’t just get induced. It’s a fair question. With medical advances the way they are, many women get induced with no problems. However, with my first baby, I had complications and the doctor chose to induce me, inspite of the fact that my body was not at all ready to have a baby. I ended up in labor for twelve hours that ultimately ended in an emergency c-section. Recovery was very hard. I knew that having a c-section could limit the number of children my body could bear. It was very important to me that I would be able to have the large family I had always dreamed of. So when I was expecting our second baby, I searched for a doctor who would be willing to help me with a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). When I was a week overdue, I went into the hospital to see if I had progressed enough to be induced, but when the doctor examined me, she explained that my body was not ready and if I chose to be induced, I would very likely end up with another c-section. So I made one of the hardest decisions ever and chose to go home and be pregnant until my body was ready to go into labor on its own. I put my mother on the plane to fly back home, and waited. Finally, 9 days after my due date, I went into natural labor and was able to deliver a healthy 8 lb. 11 oz. boy. Since that decision, I have not been tempted to be induced. I’m a strong believer in waiting for both my body and the baby to be ready to be born. For me, it’s best to wait. I would rather have a few days of extra discomfort, than weeks of recovery from a c-section. So, I will continue waiting for my sweet little one to arrive, I know it’s worth every uncomfortable minute!
Challenge: There are many stages in motherhood that are harder to get through than others. Create a deliberate plan to get through the stage you're in with more optimism and humor. Commit to enduring well and not just waiting for it to be over.
Question: How have you gotten through a difficult time in your life - where timing was not in your control?
