The Motherhood Pride Cycle

By Christine Winward

When studying the scriptures (or any history for that matter), you become aware of certain patterns in society. The people PROSPER, they get PROUD, they FORGET God, they get CHASTENED/DESTROYED, they become HUMBLED, they again begin to PROSPER and so on. I was thinking about this cycle the other day and decided that this is also a definite pattern in motherhood.

When we find something that works with our children, we sometimes get PROUD and in our excitement over our success, we BOAST to other moms of how we have accomplished such great things. This is sometimes followed by a desire to post our results on social media and sell our systems, or to at least give advice to all of our friends. Shortly after we give said advice, the stage passes and our brilliant solution is no longer valid - leaving us feeling very chastened and often also frustrated and embarrassed. At this point, we can choose to sulk, or we can HUMBLE ourselves and try to find something else that will work. Eventually, we hit on another brilliant plan and we again begin to PROSPER!  We are amazing Moms! We know all the answers! If everyone just did things the way we did, all the world’s problems would be solved! Oops! Back to PRIDE again - brace yourself for the FALL.

When I was a new mom, I used to wonder why the moms of multiple children who were all older than my little toddler were always so silent about giving advice - while the moms with children the same age as mine always seemed to be quick to share ideas and solutions. Back then, I thought the older moms were selfishly keeping the secrets to themselves, but now that I am an “older mom” I realize that their silence wasn’t selfish, rather they knew about the cycle! They knew that solutions in parenting are often very unique to both the parents and each child. They had experienced enough CHASTENINGS to recognize the danger in pridefully sharing systems that had not been proven over time.

Now that I have more experience and hopefully a bit more wisdom, I’ve learned that what works for me and my family is not the perfect one-size-fits-all solution for everyone else. I’ve learned that although I have seven children, I still have not experienced parenting every kind of child out there. I believe that a loving Heavenly Father sends us children that need us, but that we also need our children to help us stretch and grow and reach our full potential.

I’ve learned that instead of offering advice, it is better to offer support and encouragement. As mothers, we don’t need our friends to turn into personal life-coaches who tell us what we should be doing. We need peers who understand that mothering is the most beautiful and difficult thing we can do in our lives and to love us and cheer us and lift us through the successes and the failures. If we can stay in this HUMBLE state and rejoice in the achievements of our friends, learning from them and teaching them in our turn, we can avoid re-entering that awful cycle and instead keep the beautiful balance of HUMILITY and PROSPERITY a constant in our ever changing adventure called MOTHERHOOD.